This is me not doing homework!

My mind wandered a bit while I was doing homework, hence the things I thought were
questionable...

When people say, "I'm so tired it's not even funny" or "my head hurts so much it's not even funny", why would it even be funny in the first place?
Do stairs go up or down?
Do coffins have lifetime guarantees?
Why do the numbers on phones go down while the numbers on calculators go up?
Why is there a top line on lined paper if we never use it?
When French people swear do they say pardon my English?
If the sky is the limit, then what is space, over the limit?
Why does the last piece of ice always stick to the bottom of the cup?
Who was the first person to look at a cow and say, "I think I'll squeeze these dangly things here and drink what comes out"?
Isn't Disney World just a people trap operated by a mouse?
Who was the first person to say, "See that chicken over there ... I'm gonna eat the first thing that comes out if its butt"?
Why don't the hairs on your arms get split ends?
If an atheist has to go to court, do they make him swear on the Bible?
Isn't it funny how the word 'politics' is made up of the words 'poli' meaning 'many' in Latin, and 'tics' as in 'bloodsucking creatures'?
Why is it illegal to park in a handicapped parking space but its ok to use a handicapped toilet?
If you were under house arrest and you lived in a mobile home, wouldn't you be able to go anywhere you want?
Why is it when we laugh in school the teachers say do you find something funny? When obviously we do?
Why is it that when we are humming and then we plug our nose, our humming stops? Do people really hum through their nose, or their mouths? (AND…I know you all just did that)
If the weather man says "it's a 50% chance of rain" does that mean he has no idea if its going to rain or not?