Dear Mr. Ex President Clinton :
I recently saw a bumper sticker that said, "Thank me, I voted for Clinton-Gore."So, I sat down and reflected on that. I am sending my "Thank you" for what you have done, specifically:
1. Thank you for introducing us to Jennifer Flowers, Paula Jones ,Monica Lewinsky , Dolly Kyle Browning, Kathleen Willey, and JuanitaBroderick .Did I leave anyone out?
2. Thank you for teaching my younger siblings and I about oral sex.
3. Thank you for showing us that sexual harassment in the work place(especially the White House) and on the job is OK.And all you have to know is what the meaning of "sex" is.It really is great to know that certain sexual acts are not sex, and oneperson may have sex while the other one does NOT have sex.
4. Thank you for reintroducing the concept of impeachment to a newgeneration and demonstrating that the ridiculous plot of the movie "Wag the Dog" could be plausible after all.
5. Thanks for making Jimmy Carter look competent, Gerald Ford look graceful, Richard Nixon look honest, Lyndon Johnson look truthful, and John Kennedy look moral.
6. Thank you for the 73 House and Senate witnesses who have pled the5th Amendment and 17 witnesses who have fled the country to avoid testifying about Democratic campaign fund raising
7. Thank you, for the 19 charges, 8 convictions, and 4 imprisonments from the Whitewater "mess" and the 55 criminal charges and 32 criminal convictions (so far) in the other "Clinton" scandals.
8. Thanks also for reducing our military by half, "gutting" much ofour foreign policy, and flying all over the world on "vacations"carefully disguised as necessary trips.
9. Thank you, also, for "finding" millions of dollars (I reallydidn't need it in the first place, and I can't think of a more deserving group of recipients for my hard-earned tax dollars) for all of your globe-trotting.I understand you, the family, and your cronies have logged in more time aboard Air Force One than any other administration.
10. Now that you've left the White House, thanks for the 140 pardonsof convicted felons and indicted felons-in-exile.We will love to have them rejoin society. (Not to mention the scoresyou pardoned while Governor of Arkansas)
11. Thanks also for removing the White House silverware.I'm sure that Laura Bush didn't like the pattern anyway.Also, enjoy the housewarming gifts you've received from your "friends."
12. Thanks to you and your staff in the West Wing of the White Housefor vandalizing and destroying government property on the way out.I also appreciate removing all of that excess weight (China ,silverware, linen, towels, ash trays, soap, pens, magnetic compass,flight manuals, etc.) out of Air Force 1.The weight savings means burning less fuel, thus less tax dollars spent on jet fuel. Thank you!
13. And finally, please ensure that Hillary enjoys the $8 million dollar advance for her "tell-all" book and you, Bill, the $10 million advance for your memoirs.Who says crime doesn't pay!
14. The last and most important point - thank you for forcing Israel to let Mohammed Atta go free. Terrorist pilot Mohammed Atta blew up a bus in Israel in 1986.The Israelis captured, tried and imprisoned him. As part of the Oslo agreement with the Palestinians in 1993, Israel had to agree to release so-called "political prisoners".However, the Israelis would not release any with blood on their hands.The American President at the time, Bill Clinton, and his Secretary of State, Warren Christopher, "insisted" that all prisoners be released.Thus Mohammed Atta was freed and eventually thanked the US by flying an airplane into Tower One of the World Trade Center .This was reported by many of the American TV networks at the time that the terrorists were first identified.It was censored in the US from all later reports.Why shouldn't Americans know the real truth?What a guy!!
If you agree that the American public must be made aware of these facts, pass this on.God bless America and THANK YOU (once again) for spending my taxes so wisely and frugally.
A US Citizen
PS.Please pass along a special thank you to Al Gore for "inventing" the Internet, without which I would not be able to send this wonderful, factual e-mail.
AND THE REST OF THE STORY Hillary Rodham Clinton, as a New York State Senator, now comes under the"Congressional Retirement and StaffingPlan," which means that even if she never gets reelected, she STILL receives her Congressional salary until she dies.(Would it not be nice if all Americans were pension eligible after only4 years?)If Bill outlives her, he then inherits HER salary until HE dies.He is already getting his Presidential salary until he dies. If Hillary out lives Bill, she also gets HIS salary until she dies. Guess who pays for that? WE DO! It's common knowledge that in order for her to establish NY residency,they purchased a million dollar-plus house in upscale Chappaqua , NewYork. Makes sense.They are entitled to Secret Service protection for life. Still makes sense. Here is where it becomes interesting. Their mortgage payments hover at around $10,000 per month. BUT, an extra residence HAD to be built within the acreage to house the Secret Service agents.The Clintons charge the Federal government $10,000 monthly rent for theuse of that extra residence, which is just about equal to their mortgage payment. This means that we, the taxpayers, are paying the Clinton 's salary,mortgage, transportation, safety and security, as well as the salariesfor their 12 man staff -- and, this is all perfectly legal!